Hey it's Sunday and that's my traditional day for pure laziness which I cover up cleverly by claiming to be following the Commandment: "remember the Sabbath Day and keep it holy." So here are some funny quotes that made me laugh and I thought you might enjoy.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
~Emo Phillips (I just love this guy!)
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
~Emo Phillips
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
~Emo Phillips
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
~George Carlin
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
~Stephen Wright
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
~George Carlin
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
~George Carlin
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
~Groucho Marx
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
~Stephen Wright
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
~Groucho Marx
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
~Groucho Marx
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