Sunday, June 25, 2006

Parenting Marines

Have you ever seen the circus act where the person is spinning plates on fingers and nose while riding a unicycle?

Can you multi-task like THAT?!?

If so, we have a job for you in the Parenting Marines.

I have started to believe that a lot of parenting is multitasking and a major part of that is just knowing how to get things in balance and set priorities. This morning was a perfect example of that. No wait...perfect isn't the word.
DISGUSTING is more like it.

I had just gotten my 8 month old's diaper changed and was about to give him his first morning bottle when I heard my 2-1/2 year old boy calling out to me urgently, "Mom-MEEEE Halp! I got poo-PEEEEE"

Now let me tell you right off, anytime you hear a toddler cry help about poop, well you better run in there and assess the situation, so that's what I did.

There he stood, frozen with a look of panic on his face and a handful of messy dookie in his hand.

Dookie had also been nicely distributed throughout the room and was also on his foot.

My husband and I call this situation a Code Brown, for obvious reasons.

My poor Mommy Management techniques had gotten me into this. My little boy should have had 4T size Pull-Ups, and I had bought 2T-3T size Pull -Ups by mistake, because I was too involved while shopping to try to buy the best sized package for the money and didn't realize I was grabbing the wrong sized package! The massive amounts of dookie could not be contained by the weak confines of the too-small Pull Up training pant.

I run around the house in a mad dash to find baby wipes. I grab the wipes container, the baby, and a trash can, quickly deposit the baby into the playpen. Baby realizes he's being dropped off and begins furiously screaming, outraged that he isn't getting his bottle anytime soon.

I get my toddler cleaned up with the wipes, I do a quick clean of the spots on the carpet, and take him into the bathroom. I deposit him on the toilet in case he wants to do any more downloading.

Under this better lighting, I realize this is a bigger job than a mere baby wipe can correct.
So while he's sitting, I run the water into the bathtub.
I run quickly to get the baby and the bottle.
I get toddler off the potty and into the bathtub.

Throw some bubble bath in there. I put the seat down on the toilet and sit there and give the baby his bottle while the toddler is bathing.

Suddenly, the baby who was so ravenously hungry mere moments before is more intrigued by the bath and the bubbles than having his bottle. I reposition myself so that baby can see his brother in the bathtub. That pleases him, so I was finally able to get the baby to drink his bottle.
I then removed the toddler from the tub.

Like a total idiot, I put the same size Pull-Up on him again.
Well it's the only size I have here.

To summarize, if you can multitask, keep a sense of humor when everything is happening at once, and have the ability to forgive yourself and laugh at your mistakes... yes you can be a parent.


Anonymous said...

oh dear god, how funny to read about it! I hate cleaning up poop!!

Susan P. said...

I'm getting my tubes tied TODAY.

Darla, Pencil Portrait Artist said...

What I didn't get into in the blog post is that we also have twins who are now 12 years old.

A day that will live in family legend is the day we non-affectionately call "The PoopFest of '95."

Both girls discovered the contents of their diapers and used them like fingerpaint ALLLL over their room...walls, windowsills, you name it. They were not grossed out about their natural fingerpaints at all, but my son is horrified by HIS poopie incident.

Cindy said...

Oh goodness. Thanks for sharing that story. It SSSOOO makes me look forward to those parts of motherhood. Hehe.


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