Monday, February 26, 2007

The Purina Diet

My friend Lori forwarded this to me (okay, stop laughing, yes I DO have a friend as a matter of fact! LOL) I'm leaving the little >> things in it so nobody will really think I'm doing this diet, although I probably ought to go on this diet!
This is the kind of fun stuff I like to do to people in stores though...

>I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow and was in
>line? To check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

>I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting
>the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up
>in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
>awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my
>orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

>I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying
>it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way
>it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and
>simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the
>food is nutritionally >complete so I was going to try it again.

>I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
>enthralled! with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

>Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and
>was that why I ended up in the hospital.

>I said no..... I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a
>car hit me.

>I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door

1 comment:

letti said...

hehe.. i wonder what she would have said if she saw david and I at Sam's with our 15 buckets of cat litter, 5 bags of cat food and 5 bags of dog food. We'll say it's cheaper than baby food and diapers. ROFL.


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