Sunday, December 28, 2003

Sent to me by artist Robert Thrasher (That's what I'm Tolkien about!)


Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the
hell is Harry Potter?"

Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT

After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."

At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle
Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen.

After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.

Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone
says: "The Ring."

Point and laugh whenever someone dies.

Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts.

Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."

When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs
sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"

At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians.

Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's
finger and fall down the stairs.

When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the

Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty
Python style.

When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"

Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from
the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins.

In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN

Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!"
See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.

During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"

Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude
Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.

Start an Orc sing-a-long.

Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking
terribly confused.

Remove the top off your drink, then proceed to light the straw on fire
and tell people in the seats around you about a great battle that took
place in your cup long ago.

When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment and shout,
"I see dead people!"

Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda
would be like.

Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the
Shelob scene.

Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.

When Sam holds Frodo's hand (or otherwise), start singing, "The
Ambiguously Gay Duo!"

When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's really let herself

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